As I pulled out onto Highway 71 this morning, jamming out to various politically-charged songs picked specifically to get pumped up for election day, I suddenly came face-to-face with something I forgot existed: Truck Balls.
What better novelty item to display your redneck male machismo than a swingin' plastic scrotum hanging off the hitch of your King Ranch Ford 350? Balls. Need a euphemism to describe an individual's gutsiness and bravery? Balls. An adjective to describe something totally awesome? Balls.
I am deeply disturbed by Truck Balls and the implications thereof. I propose we begin to manufacture Dangling Ovaries immediately.